What is Hidayah?  She keeps asking herself every time she contemplates how she has been living her life.

Is it a kind of “sacred” voice that always whispers in her ears whenever she does something inappropriate or has gone too far?

Is it “a logic” that keeps arguing with her when she found herself guilty after doing something wrong?

Or….is it “a conscience” that punishes and blames her after her doing something considered a “sin”?

She sat beside her bed. Her eyes were far away in emptiness. Her mind pictured her life in the past. She is basically a woman with a strong faith. She used to pray and surrender herself to God. Never did a day or a moment pass without worshipping, reciting, or probably just thinking about God. Day and night she prayed, prayed, and prayed. And that was when she felt her life full of emotional burdens, problems that seized her awareness.

At this time, her life has been harder. But she was given ways to overcome them. The door was opened for her to manage her burdens. But since then, she felt she was going farther even from herself. She moved away from her past habit. Seldom has she recited or done worshipping like she used to. And she found it was so hard to get back to her last habits.

Then she mumbled “Hidayah”.

Is “hidayah” something that people always seek? No matter how much the cost is, no matter how far the place is, no matter how tough to gain it. People fight to themselves to be able to get hidayah.

“Hidayah” is not something that people can easily get, as a matter of fact. It is like a “blessing” given from heaven. It is like heaven on earth that not everyone can dwell on it.

She craves something called “Hidayah”. She must start her journey to find and get “hidayah”. She realizes that life without “hidayah”  will just lead to disaster, sooner or later. She already can feel how uneasy her mind is, how restless her heart is. She must determine to commence her journey on that day when it is still dawn, still dark, no light, no stars. Dark and empty like her soul.

But she has no other choice. But fighting to get “hidayah” back to make her life harmonious and peaceful.

So is hidayah something to do with “natural law?” Only God knows.